In a very rudimentary way a man’s life consists of a balance of faith and behavior. Faith, simply stated, consists of what a man believes. Behavior is the action that results from what men believe. Faith is the sum of thoughts, emotions and feelings all displayed through behavior.* One of the most defining behaviors of a man is his sexual behavior.**

Reckless sexual behavior leads to sexual disease. In the U.S. 50% of sexually active adults have a sexually transmitted infection at some point in their life (CDC, 2008). STI’s (previously referred to as STDs) are common and a sexually active person is more likely to catch a disease than they are to avoid one. In an ideal world, HIV and other diseases can be prevented by abstinence and marital monogamy, but the truth is most people report having multiple sexual encounters before marriage.

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Being a Christian gentleman is more than just social etiquette. Sure it’s cool to know which fork to use at the banquet table and what color suit to wear at different occasions. More than that, a Christian gentleman knows how to treat a lady, whether it be of romantic interest or not. A gentleman realizes the lady’s value and worth and regards it highly. When we were small boys we used to think girls were gross and nasty, and I hope as the years have progressed, your opinion has changed. A lady is someone to be treasured and honored by our actions.

Our world wants you to view women as primarily sexual objects. Why do you think women are on the covers of most magazines and advertisements? They want to keep your perception toward women sharply tuned to what you see on the outside of a woman because it means more money for their pockets. And the product of that is guys look at girls as just a piece of meat to lust after. As guys, our sexual impulses are hardwired directly to our eyesight. When you see a lady, your immediate reaction is to check her out, and see how good she looks. So, how do you treat a lady with Godly honor? It starts with your perception of women.

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Excerpt from EveryStudent.com - On a cold, dark night, there’s nothing better than a blazing fire in the fireplace. You can pile on the wood and let it burn nice and warm. It’s safe, warm, relaxing and romantic. Now take that same fire out of the fireplace (which was built for it) and drop it in the middle of the living room. Suddenly it becomes destructive. It can burn down the whole house and kill everyone inside. Sex is like that fire. As long as it’s expressed in the protective commitment of a marriage relationship, it’s wonderful, warm and romantic. But porn takes sex outside that context.

Check out this great article from everystudent.com about the toxic effects of pornography. Toxic Pornography, Toxic Sex

Have you ever dreamed of being a knight in shining armor? I have. It’s a reputable fantasy for sure. Now, theres a slight possibility that either of us will ever really fulfill that dream in its classical sense. You probably won’t ever own a stallion, let alone ride it around town and use it to pick up your date. Knighthood was centered around chivalry. Though we can’t be a knight in function - killing your enemies on site and riding around on a cool horse - we can be a knight in principle. Chivalry defined is - “The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women.”

Though we cannot time warp back to the medieval times, we can certainly be a modern day knight, a gentleman. It is not enough however, to be a gentleman, we must be Christian gentlemen. Being a Christian gentleman goes beyond simple manners and etiquette, it is lifestyle of courtesy and integrity toward others motivated by the Holy Spirit. The motivating factor of a Christian gentleman is to show the love of God to others.

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Today I was sitting in a restaurant with a friend when my attention was captured by a funny commercial being played on the TV in the corner. It was a group of business associates on a retreat somewhere in a remote part of a jungle. Suddenly, one of their friends were sucked into a sink hole. He was yelling for help and his arms were flailing all around, but the more he struggled the more he sunk. Yet, the team just stood there. The boss immediately began discussing how they should formulate a committee to discuss this problem and how they should deal with the situation. As the rest of the team stood around, some scratched their heads, some nodded approvingly at the boss, but one young man saw a rope on another’s backpack and decided to pull the man to safety. He threw it over a large branch and dropped it to the sinking friend. Whew…it was suspenseful let me tell you! Then this slogan appeared on the screen…Make It Count. Read the rest of this entry »

When a guy gets into a bad relationship we tend to have a soft heart to those who have participated in our bad choices. For instance, guys don’t want to break off a bad relationship because they feel like they will hurt someone’s feelings. I say WHO CARES about others feelings when you are about to RUIN YOUR LIFE. There are a few times in life where you have to be selfish about what happens to you. This is one of those times when it involves the most important decision of your life. You have to put you first and foremost when it comes to a bad relationship.

I call it a skydive situation. You know in your heart what is right but it’s hard to activate that truth because it will severe relationships and cause hurt to others. Imagine yourself going skydiving. I have many times, but since I’m getting married I’ve reconsidered due to the physical liabilities, and also, she hasn’t taken a life insurance policy out on me yet. Anyhow, you have made the decision to finally go through with it and you are sitting in the airplane. The bay door opens and you are standing there on the edge looking down at the ground with 12,000 feet of air in between. You know you want to jump, but you’re scared. You have a two ways to get back on the ground, you can be a man and jump, or go back to your seat and feel like a lilly-livered sissy all the way back to the runway. Here’s what it takes to make the first jump (from what I’ve heard from others Shanna dear). You can’t look down, you can’t think about dying, you just have to put it all out of your mind, and JUMP!!! They say it’s the biggest rush and the freest you will ever feel.

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Life is about decisions and choices. Some are easy some are hard, some are just second-nature. To be a real man you have be have the guts to make the right one. There is a difference between decisions and choices. Decisions ironically are what you decide about issues before the choice is presented to you. A choice is the real-life, rubber meets the road, moment-of-truth. A choice is simply the application of a decision. The most important thing in life is to make decisions about tough issues before the choices ever come.

Many guys wait until the choices about hard issues come to think things out. By then, it’s way too late to properly weight out the benefits and consequences of that choice. Take for instance, you are out with a girl, you are very attracted to her, and the physical progression is bound to start at any moment. She touches your hand and you feel like a million bucks. The atmosphere is right, she looks beautiful, she is willing to go beyond some boundaries because she’s crazy about you. BAM, here’s the choice we’re talking about. You haven’t thought about any of this before the date started. Your morals are telling you not to continue on, but your body is saying GREEN LIGHT!!!! The choice is, you can have some fun (well, what you think is fun, but you’re going to feel like a dirty rotten dog about thirty minutes later), or you can choose to not walk that road and either take the girl at home, or if she’s really someone you are interested in long-term, find a more accountable place to communicate. THE CHOICE IS YOURS. Chances are, if you didn’t make a decision before-hand, you’re not going to take her over to dairy queen and get a caramel sunday. No, you’re impulse choice will be to follow your strongest urge….and you’re going to feel like a dirty rotten dog later. Why? You didn’t think. You didn’t decide beforehand what your response would be. Guys who don’t decide before tough situations will be driven by hormonal urges and attractions to make bad choices. You have to make good decisions and think things out before the hard choice comes. You have to know what you’re going to do at that moment of truth.

It’s intoxicating. I’m not talking about alcohol or drugs, I’m referring to the TV drama “24″. I’m sure you’ve seen or heard about it. It is what I call the “cocaine” of TV shows. It’s addicting for sure. Once you’ve seen an episode, you’re hooked. If you had the DVD set of the first season like I did….you couldn’t just take one episode in a single sitting. I found myself popping DVD’s to get another quick fix of Jack’s heroic adventures. I became engulfed in the world of Jack and the other characters trying to eradicate the world of terrorism, especially in L.A.. It was as though I living the life of a federal agent alongside Jack, which was precisely why they filmed it in real-time.

From start to finish it was unbelievable gut-wrenching drama that had you on the edge of your seat wondering what would happen next. Jack even executed a co-worker to satisfy the demands of a terrorist so he wouldn’t blow LA to smithereens. When I was done I felt like I had gone through emotional boot camp. I had done so many emotional push-ups I was exhausted. Up-Down-Up-Down-Up-Down and I had nothing to show for it but a false sense of reality.

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Hollywood, television commercials, magazine’s, internet, and even billboards are littered with sex appeal. Through these outlets society has desensitized men to the consequences of pornography mentally, physically, and spiritually. As a result of this type of exposure adolescent boys are fully educated on sex by the age of 13, (in many cases even younger). One Youth Pastor reported to his youth group that by the age of 16 an alarming percentage of adolescent males had already been exposed to hardcore pornography. May I add that once a pornographic image is viewed, it is immediately registered into our long term memory. Pornography is a major problem for men these days. We would be amazed if we truly knew how many men are exposed to pornography on a daily basis.

Here are three ways to overcome pornography.

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Your life is changing drastically before your very eyes, especially if you’re a young guy. They say the world is spinning faster these days…figuratively that is. Chances are you are starting to think about the rest of your life. The carefree days of childhood are well in your rear-view and dude, you got a ton of responsibility coming your way. They might even start calling you the M-n word someday soon. Scary, very scary.

Put yourself in this scenario, or worse, maybe you are in this scenario: You’re in the middle of the forest…running full speed…in the dark. You’re running like crazy trying to find where you’re going, and you look like a mess. You have a big bruise on your forehead where you kissed that big oak a half mile back. You’ve got scratches and cuts from where you hit shrubs and branches. Look at your new Dungarees or whatever they call those fancy overpriced jeans at the mall…they have big holes in them, no wait, Abercrombe did that before you bought them, nevermind. Nonetheless, you’re absolutely muddy from falling over rocks into creeks and you might have sprained your pinky toe when you tripped over that sleeping elk. You look tired from running, and under that scent of macho-ism (the unique mixture of perspiration and that expensive cologne you bought to help you pick up the chicks), I can tell there is a little scaredy cat in there. You can’t see where you’re going, you don’t know where you’re going. You’ve just been running in circles.

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